Love 1/2 Gone

Marriage could be a daunting experience for most people in my boat. With such high appreciation of our career progression (and to most, the target to achieve a certain financial position by a certain age), sharing your life space could be a BIG sacrifice. To compensate that, most people do end up marrying anyway, either for religious purposes or also, when the thought of ending up a alone gets scary.

Those married ones, may share their experience, and the 2 key concerns could be (1) The same 'hot' loving feeling you once had for your spouse is eliminated by thoughts of why he didn't help me with the baby, or why she does not make time to have dinner with me anymore; (2) Although during the courting period, the desire to be together all the time was overwhelming, by the fact you wake up and go to sleep with the same person day in and day out, you find that there tend to be more desire to escape each other nowadays. So how does the majority who stay married do it?

Simple... Responsibility & Commitment. Marriage is kind of like a partnership, where the partners get to decide on the terms. Some religion e.g. Islam provides for the basic outline, but even there, room is given for discussion. The idea is, when each party agrees up front on their roles and responsibility, and fulfills them, clearly, the possibility of dispute is minimised. As for commitment, TRUST is obviously an area where each parties must secure in whatever circumstances.

Question then, is whether you actually need a lot of love to start an institution of marriage. Pumpkin feels, that having love alone without responsibility and commitment may lead to an early frustration. This may be the case in the reverse as well. The point is, you don't need to love someone 100% to have a successful marriage. A partnership which is filled with responsibility and commitment will nurture and support in the imperfections. All you know it... you may even fall in love with your spouse all over again for other better reasons! That explains why arranged marriages tend to last a long time.

As simple as this may seem, people generally overlook this, as most of us rush into marriages either because you are in your prime time (as society defines it) to marry or you are just simple blinded by love. So, whether you are married or not, the next time you see/ talk to your partner... APPRECIATE them and give them ASSURANCE that you care. It matters!