Fairness

THOUGHT IN PROGRESS

With or Without Reason? (Adaption)

Thanks to Cirnelle that blog addict who perseveres in turning me into one, I read Zewt's blog today on evolution of love and attempts to assess love based on the existence of good reasons.

I agree that love evolves. From the initial stages of excitement (or 'monkey love') through moments of jealousy, or pain and suffering caused by the the clash of personalities, love SHOULD evolve. Question goes...whether the love evolves to something better or for worst. I use to think that if love is at 20% capacity, but with 100% commitment, relationships can still be successful. But from real life experience, there is a lot of bull to that. Why do I say that? Well, the absence of a reason, or the no need to explain factor is really what they call an 'X' factor which draws 2 people together. Many people could tell you examples based on their relationship. One I was told about was, if you stand in a crowded room, you'll be able to sense the person's presence.

One should be careful that he/she does not confuse the the 'X' factor with sexual attraction. That is another blog topic altogether. The danger of this confusion could be, you get misled and misdirected, before you realise that you are not on the same page as this person 3/4 of the time!

Back to 'X'. Although this is something unexplainable, and therefore no need for reasoning. I personally feel, that the 'X' factor which surface in the course of a persons' communication with the right one. For instance, the sense of peace you feel when you are with that person, which explains why they are the one you look for when you are unhappy. Secondly, there is just absolutely no space for doubt. Thirdly, you just tend to follow the way the person does certain things. Someone once told me, in matters such as this, you follow your gutt feeling. There is truth in that, but over and above that, you should stop lying to yourself, and ask yourself whether you really love him/her. If the 'X' factor is not there.... you should face the truth and let him/her as when it comes to matters of the heart... we only have 1 to use for a lifetime.

Commitments

We all dream of the perfect life that we want. Each of us thrive to achieve the ultimate happiness that we dreamed of. Some people focus so much on their objectives that they overlook the wonderful things around them. Whereas some choose to ignore these wonderful things altogether, as trying to achieve them involves many pain and suffering. What about you?

Too Much or Too Little

Someone told me that you could never have too much of Love. There is just always too little to go around.

It led me to asking myself, how would you ever suffer an over dose of love if that's the case. We've read so much about people, not just adults but even children who suffer from so little love. There is this children's home I go to every month where I meet at least 200++ children taken in by the Welfare Department, either because their parents are unable to care for them or because they are abandoned and maybe placed under grieve danger if in their care. If you just place the babies on your lap, without singing or rocking them to sleep, they will actually fall into a deep slumber. This is because, there is so little warmth given to them, that just by mere contact with your body, they feel love.

When we are so used to getting love, we tend to take things for granted. It is only when we spend time with the less fortunate that we realise how lucky we are. I may not have been a battered wife or an abused child to realise this, but I know what it is like to live your life with little compassion from others. So, there is such thing as too much love for those who were unfortunate to get too little.

Choices

Choices form part and parcel of our daily lives. But we tend to find those which affect our future as the most difficult to decide on.

The reasons include: -
(a) Basis of decision is uncertainty and speculation of the probable outcome of the pros and cons.
(b) When it comes to subjective matters such as matters of the heart, speculation makes it even more subjective.

Question then, is whether we should make such choices upfront. For it is probably easier to just follow your gutt feel and see what is the outcome at the end.

For Pumpkin, as adults, we should be responsible for our future. By at least, assessing what available information upfront to minimise any setbacks or at least losses (both pecuniary and health). For, as you age further, the curve to tolerate these losses gets steeper and steeper, so why take the chance?